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Just Be There

If you know someone who has lost their person, the holidays can be the worst...

If you know her well enough, I would just go there and be with her. It’s weird how much it helps to just have a presence in the house especially if she doesn’t have family nearby. You could even bring your kids.

If that doesn’t seem like the right thing, then: FOOOD. She WILL forget to eat. She might even forget to feed her kids and her kids might not feel hungry either. It helps so much to just have food that’s easy to eat.

Banana bread, cookies, lasagna, whatever you like to make. People dropped off groceries, that helped a ton. I loved when people didn’t make me answer the door but just left stuff on the doorstep and texted. I literally couldn’t think or process ANYTHING, let alone manners. And, that was *with* 15 MONTH’S NOTICE of what was coming.

If she’s been blindsided on top of that, it’s worse. She’s absolutely living in a fog. Imagine not being able to see four inches in front of your face. That’s her life right now. So any normal LIFE stuff, she will need help with.

If the person she lost was her partner... Find someone who can help take down her Christmas lights when the time comes, who can help with taking down the tree, who can put Christmas back in storage.... not immediately of course but tell her when she’s ready that you’ll take care of it & then find a friend or relative or loan her your man to get it all done. Those little things are the most overwhelming when you realize your hubby always did them...

Offer to take the kids when she needs a minute. She might take you up on it now, like TODAY, or not for weeks or months but KEEP. OFFERING. She will eventually need alone time to process.

These are all ideas, obviously just pick what makes the most sense to you, but... my best advice: just be there. Whatever that looks like.

Sometimes it will be hard. MOST of the time, it will feel awkward & you won’t really know what to do.

That’s okay... She doesn’t either. 💕

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