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It's Complicated

I was such a baby back then. But, somehow I already recognized my Creator’s voice. I never planned to be married at 20, but my heart knew it was where it was supposed to. The first time I said “I do,” I was done. I met a person who I loved & knew I would be with forever. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ We had ups & downs but honestly most of it was great... He was great. And then, forever disappeared in front of my eyes.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ It almost destroyed me, but then that still, small voice. I really, finally got to know the One to whom it belonged. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Before Nick died, he told me he hoped I would find love again, that he wanted me to get remarried someday... that he knew me & that I was made for relationships. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I didn’t think I’d ever want any of those things again. I never imagined I would ever find someone who would even attempt to understand. And then, another whisper... This is where you’re supposed to be. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Grief is COMPLICATED. Second marriages are COMPLICATED. Stepping into PARENTHOOD at any stage is COMPLICATED. But, I love a little deeper now. And, I’m forever grateful God wrote a second chapter that fit the 28-year-old-seen-some-things me. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I still can’t believe who I lost sometimes... Not just because Nick was my husband, not just because he was my best friend, but because who he was as a person &, most of all, who he was to me. ONE WEEK from today is Nick Magnotti & I’s 11th Wedding Anniversary. I’ll be off soaking up my family, living out the adventures that Nick always told me he hoped I would take... ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ But, just like every day of the rest of my life, the day won’t pass without my looking up & saying a prayer of thanks... for the life I’ve lived, the ones I’ve loved, & everything that got me here. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ #MadeforBrave

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