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Better Together

Well, DANG... 😢 HOW DO I ANSWER THAT ONE?? Jay sprained his knee (the one he had surgery on four years ago) the other day playing with Austyn... Yesterday, he had to go to the physical therapist's office & while he was gone, Austyn & I sat down at the table to color. All smiles, we were working on rainbows & puppies & kitties while little sister slept in her swing. Just as she was putting the perfect finishing touch on her masterpiece... "Mom, is Daddy going to die before me?" her blue eyes quickly flashed to mine as she continued to press purple crayon to paper. "NO!!! I mean... Well, yes. But, not for a LOONG time, honey! When you are VERY old and have kids of your own. Why do you ask?" "'Cause, he went to the doctor today and..." her lip started to quiver as she fell silent. "Oh, Austyn, that doesn't mean he's going to die at all. He is okay!! He will be here for a long time!!" I smiled reassuringly & prayed she took my words for truth. "But, you don't KNOW that, Mom..." a tear slipped down her cheek, as she said it matter-of-factly. I pulled her straight into my lap. She was silent for only a moment & then... "What if you AND dad die at the SAME TIME before I'm a 'GROME UP'? Then who will take care of me??" Her VERY REAL FEAR manifested itself right into her little eyes until they flooded to overflowing. I could see her pain. I could feel it. I consoled her, told her about God's love & that there would ALWAYS be people here to take care of her. NO MATTER WHAT. And, that her daddy and I will do EVERYTHING we can to ensure that WE WILL ALWAYS BE HERE. But, what does that mean to a child who lost her biological dad despite his (& MY) very best efforts?? She has always known about Nick. She will always know about Nick. And, though this girl has brought these questions up before, I've noticed they've gotten a little more intense in the last year & that there's less curiosity now & a little bit more real fear. While I would LOVE to be the one with all the answers, I know there are some questions I won't ever be able to tackle this side of heaven. Like... WHY did my sweet child have to lose her right to innocence so very young? I will never know. But, AM I equipped with the tools to help her figure this out??? You better bet. I have an incredible husband beside me, a strong community around me, the Creator of the Universe guiding me... AND health insurance to pay for the THERAPY. ;) If there is ONE thing I am SOO GRATEFUL for this week, its the fact that Jay & I are HERE. HERE for EVERY ONE of these tough conversations. HERE to notice the subtle shift of her mindset, the tilt of her questions. If you ever wonder why I'm so passionate about helping other parents earn more free time with their kiddos. This is IT right here... THIS is big part of WHY I love what I do SO MUCH that I can't help but pay it forward. The good & bad parts of her life journey will never be over... Neither will mine. And, neither will yours. But, dangit, if I know ANYTHING, its that we can make ALWAYS make it through the tough stuff BETTER TOGETHER than we ever could alone. #sodangthankful #bettertogether

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