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Little About My Journey

There’s a sort of fear that kicks up when you’re approaching your third anniversary with your second husband, when it was right around your third anniversary with your first husband when he first started getting sick. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Nick & I’s third anniversary was a tough one. The year before had been ROUGH. We’d been growing apart. We’d been buried in work. We barely saw each other. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Nick getting diagnosed with stage IV cancer was a punch in the face that we needed. Shaped up our priorities real quick. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ When we found someone to treat him, we thought it was our chance. Nick was given a second life. He was cancer free! We would move forward with intention & purpose. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ We planned for a family. We planned for a future. We started working toward careers (and industries) that catered to our new focuses: our faith, our family, our health. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ We got pregnant. Then Nicks cancer came back... I was 15 weeks & the doctors warned us he might never meet our baby. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ He did meet her though. He never lost hope. He never lost faith. A battle raged inside me, between what I believed about God & the reality I witnessed. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ For fifteen long months, he suffered. For 4 months, he agonized in our home, hospice nurses taught me how to shift him in his hospital bed, tucked right up next to the fancy queen sized mattress we’d saved for years to buy. He passed away in January. Our daughter was 9 months old. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ What happened isn’t fair. ⁣⁣ What happened isn’t right. ⁣⁣ It’s not okay. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ The pain our family experienced in those years & the way we miss Nick will never go away. The repercussions of losing my best friend will never stop. There’s a Nick shaped hole in my heart that won’t be filled in this lifetime. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ How do you come back from something like that? ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ This is the question I get most often. It’s the journey I believe I’ve been called to share. And it’s the story I aimed to tell in my book. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ For more information & to get notified as soon as it’s available, please enter your email at: ... Can’t wait to share with you. #MadeforBrave

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