Life is MESSY
Living life is MESSY, y'all. In most every way. But, that fact used to bug the crap out of me!! Dirty laundry, dishes always in the sink, a never ending list of chores, a million & one things to do. Embarrassing but true, it used to downright piss me off.
And then... my husband passed away. He was 27 years old. We'd been married for a little over five years. We had a nine month old baby girl. One of the first things I noticed when he left? The work load lightened... A LOT.
REAL TALK: I screamed Nick's name from the laundry room when his last piece of clothing was folded & then threw them back all over the floor. What I wouldn't have given to wash his dirty underwear JUST one more time!! What I wouldn't have traded to find traces of him around our home. I would have PAID to find messes from the life he was supposed to be living...
Yesterday would have been our TEN YEAR wedding anniversary. But, instead, I find myself just two years married. Back at the start of a new beginning. I've somehow been blessed with a second chance at this, you guys. And, I am doing EVERYTHING in my power not to waste it.
I'm a wife again. I'm mom to a SECOND little girl now. And, this time, I'm a business owner too. So, you better bet that my laundry piles are higher than a New York skyscraper & my sink constantly overflows with the dishes from all the humans in my house.
And, even though I'm busier than I've EVER been... I've never EVER felt more GRATEFUL.
Nothing is different. But, then again, EVERYTHING is. Because, this time... I know. I know that what we focus on EXANDS.
So, this time around... I try not to focus on the dishes soaking in the sink & I soak up the colors in my husband's eyes instead. I do my best not to get upset about the state of my home & work on the state of my soul, my mind, my head.