Not Going to Stop Shining
“You’re world is so perfect. It’s STUPID. You are stupid. And your world is stupid.” I had someone message me this the other day (actually she misspelled “you’re” but you get the idea) & it reminded me... some people don’t read captions. Which is fun. Some people judge you based on how you look. Some people judge you based on your age. Some people judge you based on (I can’t even believe I’m saying this, but it seems to be somehow true).... your Instagram account. You know what?! It’s true. Right now, I’m crazy happy. Like over-the-moon-stick-a-fork-in-me-I’m-done happy. You wanna know why I think I’m so happy? I’m on top of a little mountain right now, focusing my view UP, thanking the one who got me here.... but I don’t think my happiness has as much to do with where I am. It has more to do with the fact that I remember where I’ve BEEN. My husband/best friend died when our daughter was 9 months old. I’ve buried two of my babies before I even had the chance to get to know them. I’ve seen hard. I’ve had dreams SHATTERED. I’ve been so deep in the dark I thought I would never ever escape. I didn’t think I’d have a chance at a family again. I didn’t think I was loved. I didn’t believe I had a purpose. I’ve felt abandoned, confused, distraught, and bawled for hours into the night slamming my fists into carpet because I was filled with SORROW deeper than I would have ever imagined possible. YES, I’m happy right now. To be honest, I’ve been pretty dang happy for YEARS. & yeah, it might be annoying to some people. But, you know what? I’m not going to stop shining. I’m not going to stop showing up. And, I’m not going to stop praising... on the hills or from the middle of the valleys. #MadeforBrave